Matthews Family Herald

As I was telling a co-worker or two on Thursday, my wife and I are going through a little "grouchy" or "gripey" season lately. To put it plainly, we've been bickering here and there and more than what is normal, as of late.

Today, we went over to the house of a friend of ours in order to celebrate their daughter's birthday today. (If you've seen me posting on Facebook then you realize this is the 6th birthday-related event we've taken part in this month. Good gravy!)

The husband and I are friends and we talked about bickering with our wives and, as it turns out, he's been clashing with his wife too and he often responds the wrong way and makes things worse. I had to laugh because I knew exactly what he was talking about. I know what I should say or do (to avoid offense and cool an argument down) but that thing I really want to say...well, I sometimes just blurt it out and it feels so good to say it, for a second anyway, but it's never worth it, in the end. He told me about a verse in the Bible that says a mature man can control his tongue. I must still not be mature then and laughingly said he must not be either.

He furthermore suggested that when someone says a hurtful thing, responding the right way and not retaliating is a part of suffering with Christ. During an argument, we can take in hurtful words and build up those dark thunderclouds of anger and finally decide we've had enough. We bring down a fury of backlash and stand up for ourselves. "I don't have to take this!"

But what about Christ? He was on the cross but He didn't have to take it either. He could have come down from hanging on those nails. He could have stood up for Himself and brought down an Army from Heaven to avenge His suffering. But He didn't. He hung there, suffering and in agony, and His only response to the abuse was "forgive them, Father. They don't realize what they are doing."

That's amazing. Suffering with Christ can include not retaliating when someone is hurtful. It's letting go of my right to defend myself. It's deciding to hang there on the cross and take it, and forgiving them with sympathy. "They don't really know what they are doing" instead of taking revenge.