Matthews Family Herald

Hi,

Just wanted to share a couple of recent quotes I've come across. This post comes from reading the book "A Love that Multiplies" co-authored by The Duggar husband and wife team. The quote is particularly relevant right now because 1) I have children who choose each moment who they will hang out with and who they will talk to online, etc., and I want them to be successful in the eyes of the Lord. 2) It's relevant because there is are some folks I know who I'm concerned for. I am watching their recent life decisions while observing who they spend a majority of their time with. I believe there is a co-relation there. I'm not about hurting people and I understand also that Jesus, for example, came to help sinners and outcasts, etc. Well, here's the quote. Goodness, I'd want someone to say these things for me if I needed to hear it. It comes from love and so let me share it here. It's a quote from "Grandma Duggar" that she often shared with her children:

"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."

Yes, you should pray for people and care for their needs. But Michelle Duggar says they teach their kids not to approach others from the point of view of making friends, but from discipling others. When you approach with that mindset, you'll stay connected with those God either links you with for mutual encouragement, or you'll link with those who are responding to God's working in their lives, but you'll be protected from falling into harmful life choices because your thrust or perspective is for edification and not for self affirmation. God is your affirmation.

So, look at those friends we are around so much and spending time with, okay? I'm talking to we grown ups now too. Are those friends close to the Lord? Or are they all caught up in the world? Are they foul mouthed or speak words of holiness? Are they leading stong Godly families, or are they divorced multiple times and trash talking their current spouse or being unfaithful to their spouse in word, deed, conversation, and thought? Are they deeply involved in their child's lives, or are they seeking after self-improvement, self-entertainment and seem to see whatever children they have as some kind of burden, weight, and distraction? Do they build up their spouse and encourage him or her, or do they tear him or her down both privately and publicly?

You've heard "Birds of a feather flock together." My granddad said something like "Bluebirds are also shot by the farmer if perching with the crows." Not an exact quote there but you get the point. Will Smith's character's wife in the movie "Pursuit of Happiness" said she was not happy as to why she left Will. Will didn't look like he was going anywhere in life, but we know how far he later went. Will made the mistake of telling her "Go get happy" and releasing her spiritually to leave. Are words are powerful and we should guard our tongues and keep from releasing and giving authority spiritually away when we speak. For Will, he ought to have fought for what God gave him.

But also, his wife should have fought for what God gave her too; a husband, a family, a future. I wonder who Will's wife had been spending her time with? How had they influenced her thinking and her perspective? What if she had sought out, instead, Godly women who honored thier husbands for the Lord's sake and spent their time, energy, and efforts on building up their marriage, their home, and their families? Maybe she would have gotten a better grasp on what really matters and stayed in it with her husband. She'll never know, but we can make a change right now.

The Holy Bible, God's truth and Word above all truth that our heart, our emotions, our beliefs, or this world, or our friends, family, etc., may tell us says:

"I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live." Deuteronomy 30:19

If a friend is really a friend, they'll respect your decision. If God is calling that friend too, they'll even come with you and then not only are you and your family saved, so are those friends.

But how can I overcome how hard it is, and what about the importance of myself and what I want, need, feel? That's simple. You know Jesus was crucified for our sins with two thieves next to him; one on either side. Remember that one thief who stuck up for Jesus and asked Jesus to remember him? Jesus told that man that he would be with Jesus in paradise that day. Think about that man's perspective while he hung up there. Maybe he had a struggling marriage. Maybe he had many disappointments. Maybe he had large amounts of debt and big plans. Maybe he had been worried about the Roman government and felt extremely mistreated; felt like the government was overreacting by nailing him up there to die. But once he was nailed up there, it was certain. He knew he was dying. None of that mattered anymore. The worldly cares and self interests didn't matter. His perspective was different. "I'm a dead man. I'm crucified." A dead man doesn't care anymore if he's unfulfilled, in debt, mistreated, disappointed. This truth is what sets you and all of us free. We are dead, we need to act like it. God tells us we are crucified with Christ and He now lives in us. So, admitting this is true and acting on the fact that God said so frees us and enables God to make it true in our everyday life. "That me that lived for self is dead, crucified and buried with Christ whene he was crucified and buried. The new me was raised up with Christ when Christ was raised up. I live for God. God lives in me. I can do all things through Christ."

Lord Jesus, help us to make the right choice, turn, repent and be on the right track. Send us Godly company and Godly counsel. Thank you for your Word. In Jesus' name, Amen.